Have been thinking a lot about writing this, but have taken several days to reflect on what it is I want to really say, and how it is to be taken. And hopefully this will make some things easier for me to understand in the process.
Last week was a very hard week to get through. And made me think about life in general, and death specifically. Now death is nothing new to me, lets face it, I work in a job where facing death is a daily thing. People are born, they live, they die, it is the natural progression of life. Has been happening for thousands of years, and hopefully will continue for thousands more. But have we become immune to death that we don't think about how it affects others? Do we just don't care? Or are we scared of what there is to follow that we just block it out from our minds; out of site out of mind.
A week ago last Friday, my cousin's husband died. They had recently diagnosed him with cancer, and the last time I saw him, he looked bad. But he had started chemotherapy, and was hoping to battle this terrible disease with all that he had. But his body had other thoughts, and his heart couldn't handle the strain of the treatment as well as the disease. He had a heart attack. And after multiple stents, he had an arterial occlusion, and the outcome was not good. He finally lost the battle and died. So young, only 59. And so he was buried on Wednesday.
I went to the funeral home, and sat in a chair, and looked around at the people gathered there. Many I didn't know, as my relationship was with his wife. But I looked at the few people gathered, and wondered about them and their life. Were they thinking of the man who had just died, or were they, like me, wondering about their own death? Because we never know when that time might come, how it will come, or the aftermath of our passing.
I sat there listening to the minister talking, a cousin of mine actually, but my mind was wandering to my own passing. I saw the flowers on either side of the casket (only 3 plants of flowers to celebrate a man's life...maybe many just gave money as I did, as the family would definitely need the cash more.) And I looked at the number of people who had attended. Such a small turn-out to celebrate someone who was so loved by his wife and step-children. And I wondered how many chairs would be filled when my time came? And the really sad part was....I think probably even less than he had. Everyone's lives are so busy making a living and having fun, that we often forget about others in the process. We push so far ahead that we miss what we have left behind. And than one day, there is no one behind, and we wonder what happened.
We left for the cemetery, and because his burial was a distance from the town, the drive took a while. Bad idea, cause it gave me plenty of time to think during the drive and so much of the time I was just shaking my head. Here we were, in a funeral procession, with the hearse and pall bearer car, followed by several cars all with headlights and flashers on, moving down the highway. And the number of cars that just drove on by going the other way was just amazing. What happened to respecting the dead? Respect would be to pull over immediately when you recognized a procession, and sit until the last car had passed. But few did this. Have we become so engrossed in our own lives that we can't take a minute to respect the family that is grieving for a lost member? That we can't say a silent prayer to help ease the pain. That we can't take a minute from our oh so busy lives to think for that minute about someone else? Now, I would never advocate someone being in a dangerous situation by stopping. But most of this road was one you could pull over without danger. So why didn't they?
I often think about the future and what it will bring. My mother died in her 30's and my father died at 59, so of course this plays a big part in my thoughts. And I wonder about that day. Will people stop and take the time to remember me, or will their lives be so important that they just can't take the time? Will I be missed at work, or will I just be a person that has to be replaced? Will my grandchildren take the time to tell me good-bye or will their social lives be too important to be bothered? And during that last drive, will any cars bother to show respect for me by pulling over, or will they just fly by on their way to their oh so important meeting? Morbid thoughts maybe, but they are truthful.
How do you measure a life-time of work? Does your death totally reflect how you lived? I would like to think that my life has impacted others, for the good. That I will be missed by others, and thought of often in good ways. That someone will have learned something from me that has made their life easier. But I just don't know that any of this is true. I look ahead to my funeral, and I see...a handful of chairs with people in them. I see pallbearers that I don't know, cause they couldn't get enough people that I do to perform the task. I see a minister I don't know talking about me in a generic message. And I see a funeral procession so short that if you blink you drive right by it. I guess my fear is having lived a life that made no difference to anyone, and that is a wasted life. That's it, I am just not going to die...this depresses me!!
So be sure to tell those that have touched your life that they made a difference. Hug your children and grandchildren a lot, as often as they will allow you to. Do something so that at your passing, others will know that you are gone, and will know that their world is now forever changed.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Health For Haiti 2013
This is what we were using during our fundraising, so this is how I have been thinking of my recent trip to the country of Haiti. For those that do not know, last fall I visited the country on a mission trip. My friend Drena had asked about going, and seeing no reason to not, I went with her. Little did I realize just what an impact that decision would have on my life.
While there, we helped with Bible School, swam in the Carribean Sea, and walked around trying to get to know the people of Carrefour a little bit better. And in the process, Carrefour got under my heart just a little bit....ok, a big bit. I met a young girl, and from that meeting, nothing would be the same.
Upon arriving back home, my thoughts turned to returning in a fashion that is more my style, and the idea of a medical mission was born. A work connection led me to Homayon, which led to International Medical Aid, an organization which does medical missions all over the world. We started to talk, and decided we would try to make this dream a reality. Months later, a set place or date could not be established, and my idea was that this was not going to happen, and I started to turn to other ideas for the summer. Than a random picture, which I find out later only happened because the person posting it could not send it directly to another person, appeared on Facebook. A comment led to a response, and than to an email, which led me to Mickey and Tammy of Bread To The Nations. Some more emails and conversations, and our trip was set!
My niece and I spent last week working with these two organizations, and for me, the feelings remain unchanged. Over the course of 2 1/2 days (mind you, these were 8 hour days) we saw 525 patients. Many were children, a few older persons, and some had chronic conditions that had not been adequately treated. But overall, it stills drives home just what the people of Haiti deal with daily. I saw several persons who were trapped in the rubble surrounding the earthquake. These were not just faceless persons any longer. The young boy who will forever carry a huge scar on his head from the quake, and the young man who can no longer bend one knee. The mountainside which still holds the scars where it fell down that day, killing people in the mine and destroying a school full of children. The many people who can't read or write, the young lady who wanted the birth control shot but who didn't have the $3 or so that it would take to do the pregnancy test and injection. The mothers with small babies who do not have enough to eat or drink to produce enough milk to feed their infants. These no longer are faceless statistics but real people with real problems. Problems which many have no idea how to deal with to make life-long changes.
Than there are the children. The smiling faces of the boys and girls, who can find happiness in a look, who can make a toy from a piece of cardboard, and who seem to find gladness in finding someone to laugh with and to hold their hands. They don't have fancy toys, or computers, or even enough to eat, but they have smiles which go on forever, and which cause you to smile back, cause you just can't help yourself.
525 patients...even for a busy ER this was swamped. Heat and sweating, sometimes with no power for the fans, having to use a translator for every conversation because they don't know English and I don't know Haitian, and wondering how you will ever get it all done. But done we did, inside what we could do. The medicines ran low, but the patients did not. And many were left unseen because there just wasn't enough time or medicine to see them all. And that feeling of just not having done enough which will not go away.
Now that I am back at home, reflecting on my time there, with my hot cup of coffee and my cooler weather, I know that, without a doubt, it was definitely something that needed to be done, and something which I plan to do again next year. To know that you made a difference, even in a small way, is a feeling that has to be experienced to be understood. To hear my niece describe her feelings of being there, and talking about going back again, I know that Haiti has gotten under her heart, as it has mine. And that is a good place for it to be.
Bread To The Nations has a plan for Haiti, and encompasses working on this generation to effect a change in the next one. To teach mothers and children regarding hygiene, and clean water, and ways to help improve the nutritional value of foods they prepare. They are working with malnourished children, helping them to improve and survive where they might have previously died. And they are encouraging mothers to take the lead in teaching others proper ways of doing things, and this leads to Haitians truly helping Haitians, which is what everyone wants. Sometimes you just have to give the education to be able to achieve the goal.
International Medical Aid is such an amazing organization. Listening to Homayon talk about their future goals, and how they are striving to achieve them can leave you tired! But the goal is improved health to many different countries, not just one time but on a recurring basis. And Haiti has now been added to the list of countries which will receive these clinics. What a wonderful first experience for me in doing a medical clinic! Seeing the passion that both these organizations has for what they do, well it gives hope that things are going to get better for many people around the world.
I got to see that young girl, as well as the child in the picture....and know that God placed them where he did for an exact reason...to lead to the creation of this medical trip, and for future trips to this country. He does work in mysterious ways, you just have to listen to the signs and feel for that slight tapping on your shoulder. So I hope that, if you feel a slight brush against your face, and get an inkling to do something like this, you pay attention. I remember watching those commercials for the Peace Corps, how they said it was the toughest job you would ever love, and wondering just what exactly that meant. Well, I know now...and it is right....all the sweating, and heat, and long flights; the money spent for the trip; being away from home and loved ones....it all was so very worth it!
While there, we helped with Bible School, swam in the Carribean Sea, and walked around trying to get to know the people of Carrefour a little bit better. And in the process, Carrefour got under my heart just a little bit....ok, a big bit. I met a young girl, and from that meeting, nothing would be the same.
Upon arriving back home, my thoughts turned to returning in a fashion that is more my style, and the idea of a medical mission was born. A work connection led me to Homayon, which led to International Medical Aid, an organization which does medical missions all over the world. We started to talk, and decided we would try to make this dream a reality. Months later, a set place or date could not be established, and my idea was that this was not going to happen, and I started to turn to other ideas for the summer. Than a random picture, which I find out later only happened because the person posting it could not send it directly to another person, appeared on Facebook. A comment led to a response, and than to an email, which led me to Mickey and Tammy of Bread To The Nations. Some more emails and conversations, and our trip was set!
My niece and I spent last week working with these two organizations, and for me, the feelings remain unchanged. Over the course of 2 1/2 days (mind you, these were 8 hour days) we saw 525 patients. Many were children, a few older persons, and some had chronic conditions that had not been adequately treated. But overall, it stills drives home just what the people of Haiti deal with daily. I saw several persons who were trapped in the rubble surrounding the earthquake. These were not just faceless persons any longer. The young boy who will forever carry a huge scar on his head from the quake, and the young man who can no longer bend one knee. The mountainside which still holds the scars where it fell down that day, killing people in the mine and destroying a school full of children. The many people who can't read or write, the young lady who wanted the birth control shot but who didn't have the $3 or so that it would take to do the pregnancy test and injection. The mothers with small babies who do not have enough to eat or drink to produce enough milk to feed their infants. These no longer are faceless statistics but real people with real problems. Problems which many have no idea how to deal with to make life-long changes.
Than there are the children. The smiling faces of the boys and girls, who can find happiness in a look, who can make a toy from a piece of cardboard, and who seem to find gladness in finding someone to laugh with and to hold their hands. They don't have fancy toys, or computers, or even enough to eat, but they have smiles which go on forever, and which cause you to smile back, cause you just can't help yourself.
525 patients...even for a busy ER this was swamped. Heat and sweating, sometimes with no power for the fans, having to use a translator for every conversation because they don't know English and I don't know Haitian, and wondering how you will ever get it all done. But done we did, inside what we could do. The medicines ran low, but the patients did not. And many were left unseen because there just wasn't enough time or medicine to see them all. And that feeling of just not having done enough which will not go away.
Now that I am back at home, reflecting on my time there, with my hot cup of coffee and my cooler weather, I know that, without a doubt, it was definitely something that needed to be done, and something which I plan to do again next year. To know that you made a difference, even in a small way, is a feeling that has to be experienced to be understood. To hear my niece describe her feelings of being there, and talking about going back again, I know that Haiti has gotten under her heart, as it has mine. And that is a good place for it to be.
Bread To The Nations has a plan for Haiti, and encompasses working on this generation to effect a change in the next one. To teach mothers and children regarding hygiene, and clean water, and ways to help improve the nutritional value of foods they prepare. They are working with malnourished children, helping them to improve and survive where they might have previously died. And they are encouraging mothers to take the lead in teaching others proper ways of doing things, and this leads to Haitians truly helping Haitians, which is what everyone wants. Sometimes you just have to give the education to be able to achieve the goal.
International Medical Aid is such an amazing organization. Listening to Homayon talk about their future goals, and how they are striving to achieve them can leave you tired! But the goal is improved health to many different countries, not just one time but on a recurring basis. And Haiti has now been added to the list of countries which will receive these clinics. What a wonderful first experience for me in doing a medical clinic! Seeing the passion that both these organizations has for what they do, well it gives hope that things are going to get better for many people around the world.
I got to see that young girl, as well as the child in the picture....and know that God placed them where he did for an exact reason...to lead to the creation of this medical trip, and for future trips to this country. He does work in mysterious ways, you just have to listen to the signs and feel for that slight tapping on your shoulder. So I hope that, if you feel a slight brush against your face, and get an inkling to do something like this, you pay attention. I remember watching those commercials for the Peace Corps, how they said it was the toughest job you would ever love, and wondering just what exactly that meant. Well, I know now...and it is right....all the sweating, and heat, and long flights; the money spent for the trip; being away from home and loved ones....it all was so very worth it!
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